The absolute worst food ever is this pressure cooker soup that one of my host moms in France used to make. Throw a whole bunch of vegetables into a pot. Really -- any vegetables that you think might be good or that might be going slightly bad or that you wish to never again see. Zucchini, yellow squash, spinach, broccoli, onion, leek, tomato, beans, etc. Whatever you have on hand, put it in there.
Add water to cover the vegetables. Don't use any kind of seasoning; it ruins the taste.
Now seal the hatch and cook for an hour. Then blenderize it.
Serve it with a dollop of sour cream. Have a bite. As soon as your hostess looks away, feed it to the dog, who will simultaneously cower in fear and mock your feeble attempts at chivalry.
The phone will probably ring. When you return to your place at the table, somehow, the amount of soup in your bowl will have tripled, while the quantity in bowls of *everyone else* will have diminished significantly. They will smile at you as you silently curse them.
'It involved a squirrel, a dryer and a Scotsman doing the Haka in my kitchen.' - La Rosser.