Today I was getting my yellow fever vaccination at a clinic when I was asked repeatedly, "Are you pregnant?" "Are you SURE you're not pregnant?" "Are you trying to get pregnant?"

No, No, and finally, "No, and I never plan on having kids either."

Gasp! The horror in the receptionist's eyes. "Don't say that!"

"No, I don't want kids ever." I want to travel.

"I used to be like you. Then I turned 36 and wanted kids. You'll change your mind."

Why do you--a total stranger in your mid-to-late-40s think you know who I am and know that I will change?

I feel the older I get, more and more people start to have kids, get married, settle down into these lives I don't want. I don't want that kind of life. I'm 27 and instead of feeling sad that there is no heavy diamond on my finger and a home with a fancy home entertainment system and several kids, I think, "There's so many places to travel."

And yes, they need a passport.

Pah, normal. I don't know which behaviour (the travelling one or the 'normal' one) is more compulsive. If I look at how many people visit a shrink...dunnno.

Anyhow, the answer is no. I'd surpress a big part of who I am. Couldn't be possibly be healthy. So, no, I'd never think of become a non-traveller.

And as for the travelling partner issue - there's another threat covering this a bit.

I see two questions here:

Would I ever be happy with a "normal" life?

Would I prefer a "normal" life?

To the first: No, I would never be happy. I couldn't do it, and one day I would just flip out and run away anyway. But I would have kids and a wife and responsibilities. That would be awful. Nope. Need to keep kickin' out the jams. The idea that I would get to a street one day, and decided that I didn't need to see what happened around the corner there is ludicrous to me. This, as you may guess, somewhat curtails long lasting relationships....

To the second: I would prefer to want normal life. I would prefer that my thinking be such that kids and a wife and responsibilities and bowling with buddies weekly and mowing the lawn constantly and devising really neat Remote Caddies and making sure I set one night aside for Date Night for the Missus would be just my way. That would be terrific. A life where the big vacation would be renting a tent trailer and my brother and his family and me and my family would wake up at four in the morning and drive for six hours to some KOA joint and "camp" while the kids swam in the pool and the adults sat around playing cribbage and drinking beer and telling the same stories we told last summer. That would be good. It would be easier Be good to think that way. Normal and regular is nothing to sneer at.

But you don't get to choose your thinking, like you don't get to choose your Family, or your (first) nose, or your colon. So, I guess I'll keep hopping the back fence with an apple and two hankies in my satchel, while my friends keep looking at me quizzically on their way to the KOA.

I think you make an excellent point, Piecar, and explained it very nicely. I don't think there is anything wrong with discussing the downsides to living this way because everything has its downsides.

I look at a lot of my friends with families and most of them seem quite happy leading their Fred Flintstone lives. I'm sometimes envious of their happiness, but I'm never envious of their lifestyle. It amazes me sometimes that they can be happy in the exact same place for years or even decades on end.

I've finally come to grips with the fact that the primary motivation in my life seems to be an insatiable sense of curiosity. Just as Piecar mentioned, I'm ALWAYS wondering what is around the next corner. It can be exhausting and if there was an "OFF Button" for that I would be tempted to push it.

We travel and explore because it's the thing we've found that makes us happiest, but sometimes I wish I could be just as happy as a mail carrier or something. Not only am I constantly motivated to travel, but I find myself moving from city to city and state to state every couple years for the same reason.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a happy person and if I died tomorrow I would consider my life a success, but this lifestyle seems to have chosen me rather than the other way around.

Hm. Interesting. I see the point of 'normal would be easier'. I agree that the 'traveling life style' is in some ways oppressing, compulsive and exhausting. However, would I WANT to be 'normal'. Nah. No way. If I look around and see the people who do have those 'normal lives' (and that is without sneering) then I don't see anything attractive. Not because of the life as such. But because when I talk to 'those' people, I can see that there is still a searching/inquiring part in them. A part that says 'there must be more'. A part that asks to know what is out there. And I see them surpressing it. I can't see that as healthy. Neither to body nor mind. It's the same drive that I think we all have. I believe it's intrinsic to human ontology. It's our nature to want more. To know more. To explore. Yes, it's not easier to live it. And it doesn't necessarily make us happier in a holistic way. But I believe that it eliminates a part of unhappiness that we do have control over. I am aware that we don't have control over all those parts. So why should I choose to let go of those parts that I actually can control? And having family and kids (which I believe are a fundamental part of being a human being as well) doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop searching for your own 'enlightenment'.

Many 's here. I guess, that's because it's all subjective to begin with.

quote:

Originally posted by cherie:
"No, and I never plan on having kids either."

Gasp! The horror in the receptionist's eyes. "Don't say that!"

"No, I don't want kids ever." I want to travel.

"I used to be like you. Then I turned 36 and wanted kids. You'll change your mind."

Why do you--a total stranger in your mid-to-late-40s think you know who I am and know that I will change?

I feel the older I get, more and more people start to have kids, get married, settle down into these lives I don't want. I don't want that kind of life. I'm 27 and instead of feeling sad that there is no heavy diamond on my finger and a home with a fancy home entertainment system and several kids, I think, "There's so many places to travel."

And yes, they need a passport.

AMEN!!!

I agree with both of you. How could a woman you don't even know tell you what you will think....But report back to me when you are 36 just to be sure.